How Was My Vacation?

There was a 5.8 earthquake felt in twenty states the day we landed in Norfolk, Virginia, pronounced something like “Nawfolk” by old timers in the Tidewater region who drop their Rs and Ls after a vowel. I will try to honah theyah wunnaful, distinctive brogue by pronouncing theyah wuds propahly. As we landed, we saw a huge plume of dawk smoke coming foath out of the Great Dismal Swamp southwest of Nawfolk, not related to the quake.  

Ouwah destination was the Outah Banks of Nowth Kahlina for a family reunion. We rented one of those three stoay houses on stilts wheah the first floah is resuved foah ocean waves. Upon arriving we saw a dawk cloud ovah on the suthun horizon. We were told Huhwicane Irene had changed couwse and the stoam was headin towad us instead of towad Flawada. They told us to “Gid outta heah.” Of couwse, when folks stahted to scattah, all foams of transpatation got cancelled.  

We headed by cah to Richmond, Vahginia, ovah a hundud miles, and hunkahed down in a brick house without powah for twenty foah howas. We rode out the middle band of the Huhwacane with 70–90-mile-pa-howah winds. The stoam uprooted a lotta lahge trees and dumped thuteen inches a rain. The next mohnin the sun came out like nothin had happened except foah damage everywheah. 

The silvah linin was that Irene doused the unda watah peat fiah in the Great Dismal Swamp. Except foah the uthquake, fiah, floods, and huhwicane, in jus three days, we had a wonnahful time!  

My spell checkah is going beezuk.