Things I Know for Sure, Maybe
Popular author Anne Lamott made a TED TALK a few years back entitled: “Twelve Things I know for sure.” One I remember is: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. That includes you.”
A question I ask my kids when I haven’t talked to them for a while is “Wada ya know fer shur.” Sometimes they beat me to the draw and throw the question back at me. So, I’m now prepared. Here’s my starter list:
The clock is ticking though even though I’m too deaf to hear it.
Your truth and my truth are different because we have traveled different paths. So, arguing with you won’t change your stupid mind.
A lot of dumb people think they know and don’t. Including me.
My parents, and all my ancestors got through life without a computer or cell phone. I envy them.
My Otolaryngologist tells me I have a deviated septum. My nose is bent out of shape. I can’t tell as I am right here behind it.
The pain in my derriere is diagnosed as sacroiliitis.
Flat is beautiful! A ripe wheatfield in Kansas with the sun setting doesn’t need a mountain!
“When it rains it pours” is an exaggeration. Sometimes it sprinkles.
Two major days in life are the day you get your car keys and the day you have to give them up. I see that second day coming.
I was once literally at the end of the rainbow. There was no pot of gold.
The only sure things are death and taxes. I’m pretty sure that’s false.
I’m fine. Everything is fine. That’s the short version of a very long story.