Metabolism on Vacation

At the time I reached my full adult height of six feet, I weighed 140 pounds dripping wet. I am now 5’ 10” and shrinking and weigh…well more than that. Gravity and grub have taken their toll. In my young adult life, I could devour large amounts of food and not gain weight. I could metabolize plastic and steel wool, though, as far as taste, I preferred plastic.

If metabolism is about burning calories to produce energy, my calories seem to have rebelled against being burned. They are a congenial bunch of buddies who loiter around my waist and have little desire to convert to energy.

I get hooked temporarily by diet ads that show before and after cameos of guys who have lost 100 pounds and now look like Arnold Schwarzenegger with bulging biceps, pecks, rippled abs, and 30-inch waist. The only thing I have found that works is to stop putting food in my mouth.

I have a closet full of trousers I can no longer get into. My rational self tells me slimming back four belt holes is a pipedream. So, maybe I’ll go ahead and donate this stuff to Goodwill including my polyesters that have long since gone out of style.